Some days just start off wrong.

Had some weird ass nightmare dream about this one person I know, the moment I get out of bed, I stub my toe, I drop a hot spoon that I was using to stir my tea into my lap, I get a phone call from somebody I’d rather not and then I bang my head getting into the shower.

I seriously should have just stayed in bed.

So I go to the grocery store because I’m missing a few ingredients from a recipe I had in mind for tonight. While in line, a tabloid with the headling “Martha Stewart Builds Robot” and there’s a picture of Martha Stewart alongside another iteration of her, but with a prison inmate number on her, and they said she built a robot to take her place in jail… I laughed.

Well, the lady in front of me, mind you, I’m still looking at the tabloid which is to my immediate left, took some offense to me laughing, and started a motion like she was going to slap me.

Mind you. I’ve never laid hands on a woman, never will. But she was about to truly test that limit today. She stopped when she saw I wasn’t even looking in her direction and apologized.

I never understood why she was upset… I wasn’t even paying her any attention. Then it hit me… when she apologized, her teeth didn’t move… but her mouth did move… wait a minute. I finally paid some attention, and this lady – probably in her late 50’s or so – was buying some Fixodent, the denture adhesive. I guess she thought I was laughing at her.

Now here’s the hard part… now knowing why she was upset and about to slap me and with me realizing that her dentures were loose, I had to now not laugh at her.

I had to buy that damn tabloid to cover up that I was laughing at her in the end anyway.