The jig is up, NVIDIA. We know it’s your
job to make your video cards sound exciting. That’s why your sales copy
uses terms like “mind-blowing performance” and “unparalleled
horsepower”. We understand. It’s also our job to make your
video cards sound exciting. But the thing is, we like to sleep at
night, and there’s no way we could if we spent all day slinging
unsupportable hyperbole.

Sure, this is a decent enough card or whatever: a GeForce 7600GT GPU, 256MB DDR memory, NVIDIA CineFX 4.0 engine, PCI-E interface. But here are some phrases we won’t be using to describe it:

• “orgasmically nuclear”
• “soul-searing”
• “howling, demonic video performance”
• “like a herd of 65 wild mustangs driving ‘65 Mustangs”
• “world-historical”
• “so astonishing as to instantly liquefy the contents of the user’s bowels”
• “mega-ribs”
• “far out”
• “high-octane”
• “hi-octane”
• “a pulverizing, white-hot video-processing jackhammer”

Sure,
it’s more fun to write that stuff than to tell the truth. But here’s
the one word we feel best captures the elusive appeal of the NVIDIA GeForce 7600GT:

• “cheap”

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Powered by NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GT GPU
• Next-Generation Superscalar GPU Architecture
• PCI-Express x16 interface
• 256 MB of DDR2 memory
• Full Microsoft DirectX 9.0 Shader Model 3.0 Support
• NVIDIA CineFX 4.0 Engine
• NVIDIA SLI Technology
• NVIDIA Intellisample 4.0 Technology
• True High Dynamic-Range (HDR) Rendering Support
• NVIDIA PureVideo Technology
• Adaptable Programmable Video Processor
• High-Definition H.264, MPEG-2 and WMV Hardware Acceleration
• Advanced Spatial Temporal De-Interlacing
• High-Quality Scaling
• Video Color Correction
• Integrated HDTV Encoder
• NVIDIA UltraShadow II Technology
• 128-Bit Studio-Precision Computation
• Full-Speed 32-Bit Color Precision
• NVIDIA ForceWare Unified Driver Architecture (UDA)
• OpenGL 2.0 Optimizations and Support
• NVIDIA nView Multi-Display Technology
• NVIDIA Digital Vibrance Control 3.0 Technology
• Dual 400 MHz RAMDACs
• Dual-Link DVI Support
• 90nm Process Technology
• Built for Microsoft Windows Vista

Rear I/O Ports:

• 15-pin D-sub (VGA)
• DVI-I port
• S-video out

Package Includes:

• Biostar V7602GT21 GeForce 7600 GT PCI-Express Video Card
• User manual
• Driver CD
• S-video out to YPbPr cable