On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to the Office Worker/My Inner-Child:

What takes six D sized batteries, is about as stealth as Roseanne Barr at an all-you-can-eat buffet, will simultaneously have you live your childhood Rambo/Predator/Commando/Unreal Tournament dream/fetish and will make your other office mates jealous with envy while ducking your soft yet automatic wrath?
Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster. That’s what. Go out, buy one, and truly understand that you are holding in your hand a belt driven, fully automatic soft-shelled weapon of least destruction. But it enables your ability to fill that almost closet postal service level rage and releases it in a soft enough to never cause bodily harm – eyes and crotch shots still need to be avoided – but hard enough to make your presence known – back of the head shots satisfy like no other.
Just buy one. I have one and it goes with me in the backseat with a seatbelt around it like a child. I’ve even named mine “Oscar”.
I love it.
And for the absolute best price, head down to your local Walmart and pick one up for $39.88.
Seriously. Buy this. Your inner-child will love you for it.
Bonus: Video of a modified Nerf Vulcan EBF-25 that can shoot 500 rounds per minute at YouTube.
[ Walmart ] [ Nerf ]
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- Tags: backseat, bodily_harm, commando, crotch_shots, envy, hasbro, head_shots, inner_child, nerf, nerf_automatic_gun, nerf_gun, nerf_vulcan, office_mates, office_worker, postal_service, predator, rambo, roseanne_barr, seatbelt, shop_details, third_day, true_love, walmart, wrath
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